1. Look, everyone gets a little…worked up when they see a wiener.
2. Especially if it’s a wiener that’s ready to get down to business.
3. A weenie that knows how to dress.
4. And isn’t afraid to show it.
5. After all, some wieners are really long.
6. They really like to show it off, too.
7. Sure, you may call them narcissists, but that’s what makes them so lovable.
8. Maybe you get butterflies when you see a patriotic wiener.
9. Or perhaps the more dignified ones are your jam.
10. No matter what they look like, you know you can have some fun with them.
11. Whether you step out in matching outfits…
12. …or you just want to cuddle, they’re always a good time.
13. Now, some wieners have a tendency to flip out.
14. While others are downright mischievous.
15. And some of them just don’t like the look of you, quite frankly.
16. But ultimately, you just want to be close to them.
17. And give them a good rub.